I'm stuck. Already I don't know where to begin. I'm a professional basketball player in the WNBA. I would have been going into my 6th year in the WNBA and my 2nd year playing for Chicago Sky. I recently suffered a season-ending injury. I ruptured my patella tendon in my right knee. I will have surgery within the week and then I will begin the 6-9 month journey back to the court.

I am totally faith-driven. I know that I cannot and will not get through this without depending upon my Lord and Savior. I have been a mess of emotion that has touched both ends of the spectrum. I have the most amazing support system. There is no doubt in my mind that I will beat this and come back stronger than ever. Injuries are a part of the game. We are built from adversity. God chose me. My prayer is that I hear His message and that I continue to grow through this.

I'm just gonna take it one day at a time. I decided it might be cool for me to share my entire experience. This is just an informal interpretation of what I am about to go through for rest of the year. There is no real rhyme or reason to how I will write this blog. Most of it will just be my thought process. Some days will be better than others but I'm ready. I pride myself on my strength and determination. I 'm gonna get through it the only way I know how: Faith, family n friends, and a lot of laughter. I want this blog to be as honest as can be. My feelings are true and I think it would be therapeutic for me to express them exactly the way they are. i want to say thank you for the outpouring of love and support that my family, friends, and fans have shown.

The following paragraphs are just some of my thoughts/blurbs from the time I injured my knee 4-8-10 to the day my knee was diagnosed 4-12-10...

Yesterday I made the decision to totally conquer this injury. I made the decision to cry my last tear. I made the decision to accept God's plan. Not sure why it's so hard, history and common sense could easily point me in the right direction. Where do I go from here? The same voice that has been my biggest fan has become my biggest doubter. You know that internal struggle? When something so completely devastating just rocks your world to the point that your heart, mind, and soul is left in total chaos and uncertainty. As a pro athlete, you deal with adversity and setbacks at the highest level. Injuries come with the territory, it's a part of the game. Every athlete goes through it at some level. Thankfully, up until now, I've been relatively injury free. I broke my foot in 2006 but that was an easy fix. I have had tendonitis and normal wear and tear but nothing too drastic. I have so many feelings. The one feeling that is speaking to me now is betrayal. How could my body do this? I often refer to myself as a machine. My body is amazing and completely indestructible, or so I thought...

First, thank you, Father. I know You have a plan. I know that the will of
God will not take me where the grace of God will not protect me. I know that in crisis a blessing is coming. I am completely faithful. I trust God completely. I know from the conversations I've had with Him and His impeccable track record in my life, I'm gonna be ok. The hard part is knowing when enough is enough. When have I cried enough? How long am I gonna feel sorry for myself? How can I not question God? Not gonna lie, I asked Him why? I let that little devil over my shoulder convince me that God had taken the day off. Praise God for the little angel over my other shoulder. The one that manifested itself in my mother, father, and oldest brother's voice. Even my own voice! Like I said before, I'm my biggest fan. (I'm a leo...lol!) The obstacle in front of me was so loud and obnoxious, I couldn't hear myself. I always admired my own strength. I'm a competitor, a fighter, a pro. I'm unstoppable. I don't back down from anything. I love a challenge. Please doubt me, it's fuel to my fire. I was completely caught off guard by this injury...

I'm human though. That's what I just realized: I'm human. We get injured. Especially one that has played at the highest level for years. A human loses confidence. I'm 26 years old, going into my 6th year in the WNBA. I can't afford to take 6-9 months off due to injury. I'm under contract and I just had one of my best seasons in the WNBA and overseas. (I played in China for 2 months.) Disappointed is not the word! You don't take injuries into account all the time. This is my livelihood. I'm supposed to be playing.

Fortunately, I have been trying to map out the next few years of my life. I know that my playing days are limited. In fact, I have started organizing areas in my life so that I may have an easy transition to life after basketball. I guess I took offense to this injury. I call the shots. I'll decide when I'm done. In my mind, I'm thinking: well this was possibly my last year. But, it's my choice. Now I wasn't so sure if it was my choice to make. Now I'm not in control and I feel helpless. A leo without control spells disaster...

It's like I'm in shock. Sometimes I forget I'm hurt. Today is the last day I feel sorry for myself. For the last 4 days I've had the world's biggest pity party. It's April 12, 2010 at 11:00pm. I have exactly 1 hour left in this pity party. At 12am, day 1 begins. A new plan begins, only positivity will be exchanged here. Tomorrow is the first day of my new plan. Well, it's new to me. I'm sure God had this all figured out. What's the bible verse that talks about how God knew us before we were even a thought. That's where I'm drawing my strength. First and foremost in my Father. I receive the most comfort knowing that God has a plan. He would never leave or forsake me. Especially while I am weak. I'm proud of my relationship with Christ. He has always fulfilled His promise. No matter how much I struggle to keep up with Him in our daily walk, or if I fail or disappoint Him, He is always there to pick me up and dust me off. Omg! It could be so much worse. A fellow WNBA player just lost her father unexpectedly. I just talked to my father for the last hour and he gave me the most comforting advice like he always seems to do. I'm thankful for my family. I'm sure she would give anything to speak to her father one more time. It really puts things in perspective. My family is amazing. Money couldn't buy the support system that I have. Fortunately, I have other opportunities in place. The pros far outweigh the cons. I can't lose sight of that and I can't dwell on the past. What's done is done and there's nothing I can do now. I have to focus on what I can control. I can only control me and how I attack each day. I'll get through this. I'll take it one day at a time. I'll listen and find the message in all of this. I will have a positive outcome from this. I'll make the best of this experience. Definitely not a stranger to hard work and I'll come back better and stronger. Lastly, I'm going to give God the glory! It's only by His grace that I am here. I was specifically built to beat this. Isaiah 40: 28-31

xoxo

Shy